


Fool's Paradise

by mapleandmahogany



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Erotica, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, The Quidditch Pitch: Erotic Couplings, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-22
Updated: 2006-08-22
Packaged: 2018-10-27 17:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10813119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mapleandmahogany/pseuds/mapleandmahogany
Summary: Ron experiences a magical fantasy.





	Fool's Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes:

This story was voted as a Featured Story in The Broomshed in Menage a Trio for September 2006 - Thank you!

Written for the The Quidditch Pitch’s Anything Goes Challenge. I was given the following prompt by Satindolls. 

**Pairing: Ron/his hand.  
Prompt: Ron takes a bath and the Magical bubble bath draws him into separate fantasies of Harry and Hermione. **  


* * *

 

~^~

 

Ron dragged his weary and battered body toward the castle that loomed in the moonlight. When he reached the main entrance he found Pomona Pomfrey waiting for him in the torchlight, wringing her hands.

 

“Auror Weasley?” she inquired.

 

“Yes, Ma’am. The forest has now been rid of one nasty fucking vampire. Oh, sorry.”

 

“Nonsense.” She waved off his apology for rudeness. “Come inside and let me tend to you.”

 

She healed the lacerations that covered his body, while he ate the best meal he’d had in days. 

 

“Would you like to Floo straight home?” Madame Pomfrey asked.

 

“No actually, that wouldn’t do at all. I’m a bloody sight,” which was literally true, “and they’d get awfully upset if I arrived at home looking like this.”

 

“Oh, yes. Well...” Madame Pomfrey became flustered and red in the face at his reference to his living arrangements. “I can show you to the faculty bath then.”

 

Ron got a shameful thrill seeing people squirm when they were forced to acknowledge the two people he lived with. The wizarding world _knew_ about them of course, but no one was ever bold enough to mention it. 

 

He knew their minds immediately thought of the assorted sex acts two men and a woman could manage. 

 

Perhaps they were right about how kinky it was, but they also didn’t understand that it meant there was three times the love to go around. It wasn’t about _kink_ for them.

 

“Here we are then,” she said, stopping in front of a portrait of a woman sitting inside of a large seashell. 

 

“The Faculty bath is though here Mr. Weasley. I would suggest you rub some of the liniment into that shoulder, it will help heal the last of those bruises.”

 

“I’ll do that, thanks.” Ron really did appreciate her kind treatment.

 

“Goodnight then,” she said and began to walk away, but stopped. “Oh, Mr. Weasley? I would also suggest that you add the crystals to the bath. They are, a _favorite_ among the staff.”

 

Ron nodded as she left, wondering if he imagined the blush on her face before she walked away.

 

“No fucking way…” Ron gasped, upon entering the bath. If the Prefect Bath was luxurious, this was simply opulent. 

 

He was suddenly thankful that he’d taken a shat in the forest this morning, because there was no way he could to do it here. His mother would kill him. Hermione would kill him. 

 

After setting his wand next to a clean stack of clothes, robes and shoes, Ron stripped and banished his own torn and filthy things. 

 

Striding towards the pool-sized bath, as bare as the day he was born, he paused at the water’s edge. He lifted his knee slightly to the side while adjusting and scratching his balls.

 

Parting his feet slightly he bent forward and let his fingertips drape against the floor, stretching the back of his thighs. He bent his knees and straightened them again several times, his arse bobbing in the air. He enjoyed the tingling pull in his legs. 

 

It was a relief to let his guard down. Being able to relax enough to even have his bare arse in the air without worrying about blood sucking monsters sneaking up behind him.

 

He slowly rolled back up and reached his hands high over his head, lacing his fingers and cracking his knuckles. The sharp sound cut through the quiet room.

 

He arched far to the left first, and then over to the right, feeling the stretch from his shoulder blades, through the sides of his ribs and over his hips, flexing and relaxing his muscles as he moved. He finished by rotating his lanky arms in great windmills, rolling his shoulders and neck.

 

“Uhh, brilliant,” he moaned aloud, testing the water with his long, sensitive toes. Just warm enough, without being too hot. 

 

An ivory bowl with the words _Ignis Fatuus_ scrolled into the brass handle caught his notice. 

 

“ _Crystals,_ yeah?” he asked himself, picking up the bowl. He took off the lid and sprinkled a few of the chunks into the water. He shrugged and then flung the entire contents of the bowl out across the pool. There was faint fizzling sound when the crystals met the water.

 

And then, very slowly, tiny bubbles began to rise within the pool. Not the white, foamy bubbles that Hermione made for baths at home, but tiny fizzing bubbles dancing upwards. It reminded him of champagne in a glass. 

 

“Cool,” Ron mused to himself. Then he gasped,“fuck, cold, shit,” when his bum met the cold marble. He poured the oil from the cruet into his hand and worked it into his shoulder as best as he could. 

 

“Harry, I could do with rubdow on these sore muscles, mate.”  He spoke to himself as he had often done while on assignments alone. It made the quiet less lonely. 

 

He cocked his head and sniffed the air as an erotic scent began to fill the air. He breathed in through his nose deeply, trying to place the aroma that was making him feel relaxed and excited all at once. He looked at the etching on the brass lid near his hand again. 

 

“ _Ignis Fatuus,_ ” Ron muttered, rubbing his thumb over the words, translating in his head. _Foolish…something_? 

 

“ _That’s it,_ ” he exclaimed, pleased with himself. “Smells like my Amortensia. Odd thing to put in a bath,” he muttered, shaking his head.

 

After diving in and washing he reclined back onto the wide, shallow marble steps. The water just barely covered his lap and he grinned, feeling the tiny bubbles rising between his legs, tickling his arse and balls as they rose to the surface.

 

“What’s our saying, Harry?” he asked, feeling content and clean he reached down to roll his balls in his palm, before taking his soft cock in hand. 

 

“ _If a wank for one is good, a wank for two is better._ ” He muttered the familiar catchphrase to himself as he gripped his quickly hardening erection. Letting his head fall back he closed his eyes, imagining Harry joining him. “Sorry you’re not here, mate. You’d like this place.”

 

Ron slid his free hand over his chest, twisting a nipple, thinking he could manage a toss off in under a minute.

 

Then he felt a familiar presence very close to him, and when he opened his eyes, Harry was sitting next to him. 

 

“Cor! Look at you!” Ron said amazed, experienced enough with magical manifestations, he knew at once not to be alarmed. He laughed out loud, and the deep rumbling sound from his chest echoed through the room. 

 

“ _Ignis Fatuus_ , yeah I’d say so,” he chuckled. “I guess the professors do live up here alone most of the time. Gets lonely, I bet. …Hey gorgeous, you almost look at good as the real thing. Come here,” he said to the Harry that he knew wasn’t real. 

 

Harry, appropriately naked for a bath, shifted through the water, close to Ron’s side, and did something that Ron didn’t expect: he kissed him. 

 

Ron opened his eyes wide at the feeling of Harry’s strong, soft lips pressing against his own, and though he knew it was not real. There was no heat, no cold, and no breath. But he could still _feel_ Harry.

 

“Wow.” Ron blinked.

 

Harry gave him a knowing smile with his shining green eyes, crooked an eyebrow at Ron’s lap, cock still in hand, and nodded.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Ron sighed. This was going to be a much better wank than he’d expected.

 

Harry moved to sit behind Ron, straddling him. He began massaging Ron’s sore shoulders, with strong fingers that felt very real and it would have been relaxing if Ron couldn’t also feel a very hard erection pressing into his lower back. Ron leaned into the kisses placed along the nape of his neck. 

 

He began stroking himself again, his hands slick from the oil he used earlier, falling into the comfort of this Harry’s embrace and touch.

 

“Feels so good, Har-” he stopped himself short, frowning. Calling this figment of magic by name didn’t seem right. 

 

He turned to look at this Harry, whose hands had worked their way down his sides, where he could feel Harry’s callused palms rubbing circles over his hips. 

 

“You been looking after our girl?” Ron asked his fantasy.

 

Harry smiled and looked past Ron, who turned and saw Hermione, walking through the shallow water towards them. 

 

“Oh-fuck-yes…” Ron moaned taking in the sight of her standing naked right in front of him.

 

Ron tightened his grip on his cock and tugged hard and fast, before slowing again. Now he wanted this to last a little while.

 

Hermione smiled at him, looked down at his swollen cock and licked her lips, before dragging her fingertips through the water and then circling her nipples with her middle fingers, causing them to tighten while the water droplets trickled down her body.

 

“Beautiful…” Ron told her, letting his jutting cock slide gently through his fist as he raised his hips slightly.

 

The Harry behind him was now running his fingers over Ron’s chest and belly, while the Hermione in front of him kneeled in the water, leaning forward between Ron’s open knees and kissed his nipple.

 

“Ah,” he breathed, “you’re so _real,_ sweetheart.” She gave him a smirk. She stood and straddled Ron’s open legs. Rocking her delicate mound of chestnut curls against his balls, opening up to him.

 

He squeezed the tip of his cock, making a ring with his thumb and forefinger, and slid gently down his shaft, drawing the skin tight, fully exposing the sensitive head. 

 

Harry’s hands joined over his as he lifted one of her full breasts, the ample flesh spilling over his cupped hand. He stroked over the pebbled nipple with one thumb, while the thumb of his other hand rubbed over the head of his cock, swirling the moisture beading at the tip. Harry’s hands followed his lead, accentuating every squeeze and stroke.

 

Feeling Harry’s hard body behind him and Hermione’s soft one in front made Ron moan with desire; the guttural sound bounced off the walls. The sounds of the sloshing water increased. 

 

Harry reached under Ron’s thighs, squeezing his strong, ginger-haired legs. Harry lifted him slightly, so that Ron could feel Harry’s hard cock slide between his arse cheeks.

 

Ron wanted this; wanted to fuck and to be fucked by his lovers, and the magic in these bath crystals would provide it. 

 

Ron furrowed his brow and groaned again, while his conscience struggled with accepting this pleasure.

 

Feeling their touch was good, but it couldn’t be enough. Ron continued to pull on his swollen cock, knowing that what he wanted to hear Harry’s words in his ear, _do you want me to fuck you, Ron?_ Harry would say before driving into him.  While Ron’s cock was enveloped by Hermione’s warmth, together they would make her whimper for more.

 

Ron wanted them, but he wanted the real thing. 

 

He turned to the uncanny likeness of his Harry over his shoulder.

 

“Were you with her while I was gone?” he asked, his voice rough and worn.

 

Harry looked up at him from sucking on his neck and nodded.

 

“Sh – show me,” Ron croaked. 

 

Harry smiled and obediently slid out from behind Ron. He whimpered at the loss of Harry’s hard chest at his back. 

 

Harry stepped down into the water, standing behind Hermione who was still on Ron’s lap. 

 

Ron had never _just watched_ them before. He was always in the middle. Now he wondered what they were like without him. 

 

She leaned back onto Harry’s chest, tilting her head up to kiss him. He reached around to her front, cupping a breast in one hand and running his other hand down her stomach. She arched upwards against his touch and Harry’s fingers delved into her.

 

“Yes. Oh Godric, yes,” Ron whispered, breathless while he continued to stroke up and down, pulling so hard it almost hurt. He could have gone off by now, but he was fighting it. 

 

“Take her for me, Harry. Show me how you love our girl.” 

 

Harry nodded, and Hermione smiled, as Harry quickly lifted her off Ron’s lap and set her on hands and knees in the shallow water next to him. Harry stroked himself as he approached her from behind. When Harry surged into her, they both let their heads fall back.

 

“Fucking beautiful, you two are.” 

 

Harry began thrusting hard while Ron mimicked Harry’s strokes on himself. Hermione’s mouth fell open and her breasts swayed with their movement.

 

Ron regretted not have having their hands on him any longer. He wanted to feel them rubbing, twisting and pinching his flesh. To feel their licks and sucks and bites.

 

Raising his knees, he reached between his legs, pressing on the underside of his balls before sliding his fingers towards his hole. 

 

A tense grunt escaped his throat as the waves of heat began rising in his belly like the bubbles in water.

 

It was the sight of Harry’s fingers on Hermione’s hips, sinking into her soft curves as he pulled her back onto his cock that did Ron in. He jerked in time with Harry’s thrusts and pressed a finger against his hole. He came with a muffled shout that reverberated over the water. His hot come spilled onto his hand, and belly and thighs.

 

Ron shut his eyes tight, milking every drop of pleasure out of this moment that he could, focusing on the image of his lovers. 

 

When the last jolts of pleasure shivered through him, he opened his eyes and felt a pang of disappointment to find he was alone.

 

They were gone. The water was still. 

 

Ron was no longer impressed by the opulence of the bath. He wanted to go home.

 

~^~

 


End file.
